Your fear of God begins in Knowing Him

Your fear of God begins in Knowing Him

Therefore Education and Success has just a place in mankind to be used in service of others and not for own benefits. For in the day of our death, sucess will just be an echoe in the lying bed. In the silence of our bodies, we will not hear the success stories we have done, for God will reveal the true test of our victory.

It is a freedom to know the wisdom of God. And it is unbearable to know it. For by the time you start knowing the wisdom of heaven, you are obliged to perform its duty and to bear the mind of the upright. In wisdom, you shall be fit in mind and even the face of others. For you will always have a watchful eye on you. And these million eyes will never dare to see your good deeds but only sees when you stumble.

Educate yourself therefore with the ways of the Lord. And bring forth your soul to the humility of your heart. Seek the wisdom of God and you will know the fear of the Lord.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Psalm 19:2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.

When big realities is seen in this world and in this generation? After all, theres the wars, murders, thefts, the poor and the poorer in soul, and the ills, and the jealousy and hatred and the groans, and the cries and the dead, are constantly reduced?
And if a man tells me, are you then enlightened and hated by wisdom? Blessed be God for showing me this wisdom. For opening my eyes from slumber of folly and stupidity..
From my childhood to the present, I have loved exploration and observation, for the sake of finding the truth, and for understanding the hidden, and for recognizing the lie and the mistake, and from seeking the truth will never cease my heart. but I have never liked nor enlightened education for my benefit, and to much good and succeed.
And there is no reason, and no advice, that it will be able to save man from any trouble and distress, and give him existing success. Education on earth is fine for the purposes of survival of mankind. And if the claimant continues to argue. And not in the holy language call, success in the name of education, it is clear that success depends on education and intelligence to which I will reply. There is education, and there is education. But as education exist, then man is the more dangerous as he can be. For who would know in the end where the man would lay his learning? Will he serve others or will he benefit himself alone? And there is education, of this world and there is education from the heavens given through the Messenger of God.

May the Lord be merciful to us all.
To the young and old alike.

Credit to Sefaria in the chapter of Sefer Yesodei HaTorah

Torah Education Online

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I Grew Each Passing Day

I Grew Each Passing Day

I grew more with my walk with the Lord every day and i experienced that i learned little better in time

Serving God in daily basis is indeed a marriage of the spiritual life

I indeed realise as along the way when we learned a lot… We becoming wise and as a part of heavenly wisdom.. We dont tend to be offended on things that mlstly many are annoyed at. I looked at it usually now and make sure I do what is good. As proverbs 16.24 says a righteous person falls 7 times. Then gets up again. But the wicked falls when calamity comes.
They easily give up

As for now i still work with my emotions towards certain things. And i try to manage my heart more than anything else because it is there where the Instructions of God shall reside. In my soul I do not want to hate a brother. But my heart shall decide for its actions and thats the only part I can discipline…

I try my best to work it out especially recently when i had a bad situation in my past marriage. I heard I had demons and as my problems couldn’t resolve, they have baked more demons instead of helping me out. I had no parental guidance in sweden and the only help i expected was with the company within the faith. Yet they hurt me. Yet I did my very best to not take it to heart. And i did my best not to be a madman. I cried and was deeply embarrassed. Yes i got discouraged, i got disappointed. But only for a while. I think that i want to spend my time believing that things will turn out good despite of trials. Im proud I kept my mouth speaking evil things and slipping nonsense. I did not complain. I did not provoke any. I did not backbite. I kept in heart hid my tears and God is patient with me.

In understanding I grew. Im proud spiritually that I didnt made my eyes sin. I kept My lips and my mind from sin in the middle of disappointments and trials.

It is indeed true, that keeps those whose eyes are on Him. And it is indeed important to keep your trust in Him in the midst of difficulties. For one day, the Lord will bring peace. And in peace within yourself, God brings solutions to situations you are facing. Be Still and Know He is your God.

What?? Once Saved Always Saved?

What?? Once Saved Always Saved?

One of the core teachings of Christianity is that we need to have faith in order to be saved. But what kind of faith saves us?

What is it that we have to be saved from?
Sins? Eternal damnation? Destruction?

In this study we’re going to discuss how we know we’re saved.

To do this, we’re going to look at three examples of people in the Bible who mistakenly thought they were saved, ( see Romans 5:9 ) see why they were wrong, and from that learn how we can know we’re saved.

Mistake #1 – Believing you’re saved because of your tradition

“Jesus said to them, ‘If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires.’” – John 8:42-44
Our first example comes from a heated exchange between Jesus and the scribes and Pharisees — the religious leaders of their day. Jesus tells them that He speaks the words of His Father, while they speak the words of their father, the devil.

These religious people felt they were saved because of their bloodline and because of the traditions they followed. They felt these things made God their Father. Many people believe this today. They feel because they were raised in a Christian home, or because they attend a church, they’re saved.

But Jesus refutes this by saying, “If God were your Father, you would love me…” The requirement for being a child of God is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Notice two things:

1) Notice that Jesus says “you”. Not your parents, or friends or your church but “you”. No one can have a relationship on our behalf. You alone must put your trust in Him to be saved.

2) Notice that Jesus says “me”. It’s not where you were born, or what church you attend that makes you a child of God. It’s a belief and a trust that Christ came from the Father to pay for your sins (John 3:16). John 1:12 tells us that “all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

Let’s look at our second example.

Mistake #2 – Believing you’re saved because of your behavior

Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”- Luke 18:10-14
Our next example comes from a parable Jesus told. Here we find that the Pharisee thinks he’s saved because of his good behavior. This is probably the reason most people today believe they’re saved. Most people feel that they’ve lived good lives.

But Jesus refutes this by telling us that it’s not the Pharisee who is justified (declare innocent from sin), but the tax collector. To be justified Jesus tells us we must be humble about our condition. We must realize we’ve sinned and call on God to forgive us.

Notice two things:

1) Notice that the Pharisee compared his behavior to the tax collector.

2) Notice that the tax collector compared his behavior to God.

The tax collector did the right thing because Romans 3:23 tells us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” It’s “the glory of God” that we fall short of. Our behavior is compared to God — not other people — and all of us fall short when held to this standard. But Romans 3:24 tells us that we can be saved because we’re “justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

Let’s look at one final example.

Mistake #3 – Believing you’re saved because of your works or deeds

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” – Matthew 7:21-23
In our final example we find Jesus talking about who will be able to enter the kingdom of heaven. Here we find people who believe they’re saved because of good works they do. Again this is something many people do today.

Jesus refutes this by saying that He won’t accept their works. As we mentioned in our last example, God’s glory is the standard we’re held to, and it’s perfect. So unless our offering is perfect, it falls short of His glory. When we try to offer good deeds to atone for our sins, God rejects that because the sacrifice is stained with sin, and falls short of His glory.

Jesus says that only those who do the will of His Father will enter the kingdom. What is His will? “He commands all people everywhere to repent.” (Acts 17:30) What does it mean to repent? It means to turn from sin, to Christ.

Where our works are stained with sin and rejected, Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is perfect and is accepted. When we repent and come to Christ to be our Savior it means we’re relying on His sacrifice to make peace with God on our behalf. When we do this God credits Christ’s perfection to us and we are justified.

How are we saved?

In this study we’ve looked at people who mistakenly thought they were saved because of their tradition, behavior or good works. Each example had one thing in common: Each tried to obtain salvation through their own strength and fell short.

God gives us salvation through His Son. Our salvation isn’t based on what we’ve done, it’s based on what Christ has done. We know we’re saved when we know we trust in Christ completely for our salvation.

Verses to remember

— 36 “Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.”

37 Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?”

38 Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call.” -Acts 2:36-38

– “By grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Eph 2:8)

– “This is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life.” (1 John 5:11-13)

– He is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. (Heb 7:25)

Abortion? The spirit of evil..

Abortion? The spirit of evil..

I am a survivor proof that even though it was a long time plan to abort me so God let me live …I do not know how many times my mother jumped and took medications just to get rid of me.

Then in the 8th month, she took even stronger medicine but it couldn’t. When I was born, the maternal nurse discovered that I am blind on the left eye, which may cause me to become blind when I grow up about 30 … I came out into the world with an inflamed, swollen eye and my mother hated me. I heard time and again how unhappy she was to see me. Wish I was dead. But my mind is strong. Learn to read early, draw strange things. Mature too early. Life became hard, but I learned to love her after all .. Because I know that anger cannot take me back to the event but I love life as it is. I met bullying in school because of the appearance, was called for all possible words because of the abortion. Failed child.

Today I live and am not blind. I see a little bit on the left eye through a miracle .. Thank you God.

I feel sorry for those who are hard hit and those who are unborn as the lawsuit has been taken away from them. My mother in any case after many years had asked for apology for those she did and that without complete info she had to learn about abortion and what consequences the child or woman gets until later. I have not been angry with her about it but without the result that was, I was very disappointed with her before. Thank Elohim our God and Yeshua our Messiah who gave me a new heart to see the light .. But even until today, the abortion event has an impact on me.

With that in the background, I in the Philippines have helped women who had thoughts about abortion. With God’s help, the unborn came into the world unscathed. Not everyone but you can help some 😊 There is hope for the women who believe they have power over the body and the power to take the gift of life from the womb. Giving them an insight into what and how the child became was their responsibility whatever it was for life situations they were in. The hope is that there are people who can support them and listen .. There are enough people on earth who will take care of their children if they did not want to keep the baby themselves. I have no claim to be angry with those who chose turn to keep their pregnancy but are very angry at those who are really deaf to hear and have the ill will to kill another person. On the other hand, I also hate people who are aides to murder .. God hates a murderer .. And with the women who carried out abortion and help to murder, God’s word describes it as an immoral act. Time and again even according to the history of the bible and the facts, devilish people have always existed. It is written in the scripture that people who do wrong to their mankind and take their lives are murderers and going against the commandments of God, so to speak. The law also describes the same.. The human rights not to murder. However, if there is someone who had already done so and accidentally read my post, I do not want to give someone a bad feeling. There is hope to turn around and resist the other murderers.
God hears all these unborn voices and every one who agrees to it will gain their profit from both good and evil. In all form God gives every man his punishment according to his deeds.

In Sweden, it is completely open with this and in other parts of the world.

In my home country, on the other hand, it is done in hidden , but if you are discovered, you get a prison sentence just like a murderer.

However, God must have mercy on the nations and the leaders of the countries who are co-workers of the murder of children. May God bribg justice in miracle way..

These children will cry and scream justice before the throne of God. The time of the lawless has come .. These children cry .. He hears it.

Surrender

We are tempted to think that the more powerful we become, the better we will battle sin. But the exact opposite is true. The more power, influence, or prestige we possess, the more temptable we are. The strength of sin feeds on our sense of strength. This is why we are warned that “pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). In weakness, we feel our need for God, but when we are strong, we lack that saving sobriety. We lost the need of God and mostly in strength we tend to think THINGS ARE UNDER CONTROL..but it is not so. THEREFORE learning to surrender towards God is needed the most…then we will know how to respect a sovereign power over us. An authority to lead us and not to control us.
-wisdom

Live Life far from Media

Live Life far from Media

Most people who do not feel good on the inside are more concerned with Facebook status than those who actually have a good life. Facebook or social media became an attention disorder for some.

In one or as soon as 5 minutes you become a celebrity.
However, it is good attention for entrepreneurs, vendors, institutions, sports and artists around the world. And that there is room to share their faith, thoughts and too much of their life.
Be careful when betting out your private life in the social. Imagine that there is reality outside the screen. Life is short, every hour is golden, so spend time with your families, friends, acquaintances and make no impression on people you do not like at all. Do not impress even those people that tries to intimidate you. Live the life as it is your rewards on earth while you breathe.

Keep in mind that we humans have no security for tomorrow.

Today or later or tomorrow we either wake up or die. What we do by the time is very important.

Slow down with social media, surfing, youtube and other things that are really useless for our soul and body

For the faithful, read more, pray for more, transform yourselves into an influencing tool with a good sense of will and power from above. Be the light of the world. Be more kinder, be more forgiving, appreciate more the trails of life. Be less in complaints and be more thankful. Do not impose too much of your own impression on others but live the faith accordingly to the instructions of the Torah. Be not fanatic, but be a believer. A belief that is Alive.

For most people, seek the truth about life, forgive, laugh and love people more than hate.

God is good who gives life to each and everyone.


De flesta som inte mår bra på insidan är mer oroade över Facebook-status än de som faktiskt har ett bra liv. Facebook eller sociala medier blev en uppmärksamhetssyndrom för vissa.

På en eller så fort som 5 minuter blir du kändis.
Det är dock bra uppmärksamhet för entreprenörer, försäljare, institutioner, sport och konstnärer runt om i världen. Och att det finns utrymme för att dela sin tro, tankar och för mycket av sitt liv.

Var försiktig när du delar ditt privatliv i det sociala. Tänk dig att det finns verklighet utanför skärmen.

Livet är kort, varje timme är guld, så spendera tid med dina familjer, vänner, bekanta och ge inget intryck på personer som du inte alls gillar. Imponera inte även de människor som försöker skrämma dig eller göra dig svartsjuk.

Lev livet, för det är dina belöningar på jorden medan du andas.

Tänk på att vi människor inte har säkerheten för imorgon.

Idag eller senare eller imorgon vaknar vi eller dör. Det vi gör vid tiden är väldigt viktigt.

Sakta ner med sociala medier, surfing, youtube och andra saker som är egentligen onyttig för vår själ och kropp.

För de troende, läs mer, be för mer, omvandla dig till ett påverkande verktyg med en god känsla av vilja och makt ovanifrån. Var världens ljus. Var mer förståelse, var mer förlåtande, uppskatta mer livets utmaningar. Var mindre i klagomål och var mer tacksam. Tryck inte för mycket av ditt eget intryck på andra, men leva din tro i enlighet med Torahs anvisningar. Var inte fanatisk, men var en troende. En tro som är Levande

För de flesta, sök sanning om livet, förlåta, skratta och älska människor mer än att hata.

Gud är gid som ger livet åt en och alla.

Being a Victim

Being a Victim

We mostly get tired of people whom are victims of abuse. And in our terms, our wish is that they would be set free. We do our best to take them out if it. Yet often we see then returning.

Of course we get distracted and disappointed because we dont understand what is happening in their minds. We think sometimes that our efforts were neglected and that our relationship with them somehow starts to be out of hand. Until the day, we want to give up forgetting that once we had the days when we also were victims.

We must understand it is a difficult situation for that person and it is a personal attachment. The only thing u can do is to allow the person see the wrong thing in the event. Although you have given your advice it is still very difficult for the person to be influenced by your thoughts because the person itself face the fear and has very low self esteem. You must remember that the abuser had stolen their identity and trampled their lives. In that manner the abuser was using its power to make use of the victims positive mind from the beginning. I believe that the abuser itself is a broken soul and it feeds to break another to feel a little better. To damp the brokenness inside. we must never forget to understand those who are in weak situations and we shall not look down on them i was once a victim and it took me so long before i got out if it. I was looked down by people who think that i get returning back to the abuser but the thing is, i wasn’t strong enough because the people that tried to pull me out of it are the ones who speaks about mistakes. Points out how i shall be and how i should think. It created confusion in me because I didnt know what to think for myself and the hopelessness grew… One day there was a person who found my strength by suggesting ne solutions and that friend never imposed aby ideas but stayed with me and told me. “You are strong enough” “do you think this things happening to you arecorrect?” “i will always listen to you sentiments until you get free from it because I am hoping you soon be free”
These were always her words whenever she got tired of my repetitive conversation. Until the day i stood for victory.

The idea of hurting others indeed comes from the inner source of the soul in hebrew called ‘jetser hara’ – long for evil. It is in the inner part of the soul connecting from the sinful nature of man. Yet the idea of doing good is the longing for good – jetser ha tov in hebrew.
These has been implanted in our soul therefore many of us either become aware of being abused or not aware of abusive behaviour.

Each of us.. No one can deny that even though we are born again has sometimes the attitude of abuse. Which in term of Paul, we can always discipline ourselves to not obey the jetser hara.

Please have kindness at heart and an understanding attitude towards the person you are facibg difficulties. We might not know what we say might lift then up or might bring them down. ❤️😘 I speak according to my experience.
Yeshua always look upon the broken hearted and has a contrite spirit. A broken soul is the one who needs guidance and has a restless mind. A contrite spirit has the sleepless thoughts and worries, an anxiety of the heart caused by other people who are abusing them and using them for their own benefits.

Yeshua had cared for these people and showed meekness and kindness to them. He was not exempted even to the humiliating events that we also experience in life. That is why He said,

I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty
John 6:35

Take it as an example.
Until then if the person want to stay where they are.. Then thats their matter.. We cant do nothing.. But to respect the decision.

Piece of Thought

Piece of Thought

Last year was full of disappointments, sorrows, tears, striving, wondering, expectation, pain, evil gaze, and wrong accusations.

In addition, it was full of new steps, new decisions and not letting the emotions take me. I realized in my difficult times that there are no genuine people. Even those who believe they are 100% righteous. Some people are quick to judge in advance before they know what has happened in one’s life. Adversity that not everyone was told during some time of struggles.

Certainly you can have friends, but when the time comes when the friendship is proven then you know that some can hang you up in the air. I am against religions and organizations hiding behind facades and living in others’ livelihoods. Such fanatics who want you to do only according to their own conclusions and own decisions. Those who talk a lot but were not present in weaknesses. I have learned that one should not tell too much about their private matters to others who pretend to be believers. Because it can be used as a weapon against one.
Have learned a lot that it is testing your faith when challenges arise. It tests your qualities and relationships with fellow human beings but on the other hand you are grounded to become another better person. Nice to avoid fake people and people who have seen me as a sinner, prostitute and those who say I am in need of attention. You divert people from the truth. Hypocrisy is great.
This year is ONE BIG BLESS for me and my family .. For this year I have the BEST TIME of FREEDOM. And this year was the PEACEFUL YEAR GOD HAD LED ME TO. AND God gets all the glory. May you be blessed. Thank you.


Förra året var full av besvikelser, sorg, tårar, strävan, förundran, förväntningar, smärta, onda blick och fel anklagelser. Dessutom det var fylld av nya steg, nya beslut och att inte låta känslorna inta mig. Jag insåg i mina svåra tider att det finns inga äkta människor. Även de som tro sig vara hundraprocent rättfärdiga. Vissa människor är snabba att döma i förväg innan de får veta vad som hänt i ens liv. Motgångar som inte alla fick höra under svpra tider. Visst man kan ha vänner men när tiden är inne då prövas vänskapen då vet man att vissa kan hänga upp dig i luften. Jag är emot religioner och organisationer som gömmer sig bakom fasader och lever i andras levebröd. Sådana fanatiker som vill att man ska bara göra enligt deras egna slutsatser och egna beslut. Sådana som pratar mycket men fanns inte i svagheter. Jag har lärt mig att man ska inte berätta för mycket om sina privata ärenden till andra som låtsas vara troende folk. För det kan användas som ett vapen emot en.
Har lärt en hel del att det prövar din tro när utmaningar uppstår. Det prövar dina egenskaper och förhållanden gentemot medmänniskor men däremot du blir slipad för att bli ännu en bättre människa. Skönt att slippa falska människor och folk som sett mig som en syndare, prostituerade och de som talar att jag är i behov av uppmärksamhet. Ni avleder människor ifrån sanningen. Hyckleri är stort.
Den här året är ETT STORT VÄLSIGNELSER för mig och min familj.. För den här året har jag FRIDENS BÄSTA TID. Och den här året var det fridfulla året GUD LEDT MIG till.OCH Gud får all ära. Må ni vara välsignad. Tack för mig.

Renew ourselves

Renew ourselves

When we see how the tree, which during the winter was dry and withered and is now in full bloom, we are revitalized. When we watch the transformation of nature, we gain the courage and inspiration to lift out of our despair, and it reminds us that God has given us the tools to renew ourselves.

We gain the courage to lift out of despair, to renew ourselves.

We live in a time when it’s a struggle to keep hope alive. All that is decent in mankind seems to be impatient against forces so irrational and evil that peace seems to be beyond what any thought can elaborate.

And yet… the trees give us a message of hope. They show us how after a period of barreness and drought despair and sadness comes the bloom and incomparable great perfume.. The gladness it brings and the signs of life that the flower expresses through its fragrance. It welcomes attention from passerby and how it represents the beauty of wonders. We all are like flowers that blooms in time and withers after its purpose. All the gazers are filled with wonders as they watched the spectacular scene of the flowers beauty but never had they thought how you had made it so far. Yet under the times of our excellence we perform the beauty and hid the secrets which was cultivated by trials and forces of darkness before bloom. And we will always bloom in time… We will always loose every single petals of our excellencies when the due time draws near. Therefore, before we reach the blooming season, we shall work with a grateful heart and a thankful mind being committed to the purpose we are aimed for. To reach the passerby and give hope and enlightenment for them. As a tree, you will know that every season has its own unique features that teaches us how to manage to grow and to bloom. God never abandons us and He always sustain the ground for us to stand out. We will never lack nothing and we will live throughout the time even when we pass away.. There will always be an imprint behind us.. Under the hands of God we are nurtured very well!
So be the light of the world and be like a Cedar tree and blossom…

Some Memories In my Mind

Some Memories In my Mind

Sharing my testimony to all of you.

2 Timothy 2:1-3 (NKJV)
Be Strong in Grace
2 You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. 3 You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

Glory be to God…
Love and embrace from our Lord Jesus
And the leading of the Holy Spirit be upon us all…

Romans 8:37-39 – No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

See how time pass by.
Many many Years ago I was in deep pain, depression, stress, deep childhood trauma, molested and sexually abused, resentment, anxiety and nearly suicidal. All this were in one package …
Grew up in a family with a Christian mother, and father was a Catholic. I am born with blind eye on the left. Until I met The real God in 2010..
Then everything started to shaken more in life.

God saw my soul was wounded deeply and oppressed by the devil. So years later I was rescued by the hands of the Almighty God. How precious we are in His sight, I could say.. That His love abounds in deepest waters, we can’t comprehend it.
Things have been storming my life since childhood years, but all was a just a puzzle game that I fitted into a better understanding now.
I’ve been with the boat of Jesus without understanding that life as a real Christians would mean of endurance and patience, but until years later when God opened up the doors to show me my rewards despite of disobedience..God saw my possibilities which I and others couldn’t see with me.
Although my life is not that honey and flowers all the way, God blessed me and equipped me, provided me my needs somehow.
I’ve learned to be faithful and loving to God that I became more focus in worshipping him. I’ve learned to be more knowledgeable about God rather than being religious..
God taught me that relationship with Him requires my obedience and willingness to speak with Him and trusting Him in all odds.

1 Peter 5:6-7 – Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Psalm 86:15 – But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

God gave me Two children..
Though my past relationship was a painful failure, and though the pain had caused a big damage, God touched my wounded areas of life and healed me deep within. He lifted up my life, healed my parents, blessed my siblings, healed a broken relationship between my mother and me. God gave me the possibility to speak more with kindness and love to my Parents. God taught me that obeying His commandments was never a burden, but it became naturally part of me.
So, even though I failed along the journey, God didn’t focus on my mistakes, because He was focus on my future that I wouldn’t get harmed and that I would be prepared for the biggest changes He had set before me.
My chase after happy marriage stopped..

And I surrendered to God everything and so..
God gave me new man. A man that needed also the grace of God.. A man that loves the Lord Jesus and would open up his life for me and my family. A man I’ve found an with an open arms family.

Cars, house, money, new gadgets, clothing’s- these are not my wants and dreams!!
But sharing the Gospel, being a medical aid, and a woman of faith, healing the sick, praying for the needy, helping those who are in need is – THAT’S MY HEARTS DESIRES…

God of Israel! How Great You are!
Now, looking back.. all I can do is praise the Lord Jesus, and give glory to the Father in heaven.
Thank God the Holy Spirit is within me..
Thank you Jesus for the Cross..!
I love being a Christian..

You can change if you want to!

You can change if you want to!

In the presence of dismay and disappointment, there is no room for logic. Every good things is not in mind and the innocence of hope is replaced by fear, anger and frustration. But where do I begin?

Have you ever been into situations where you were lost? I have. Except from sexual abuse, I had a difficult childhood which caused traumatic stress disorder. Maybe i felt more confused than lost in some situations. Yet lost in feelings and emotions. As a grown up I was labelled liar, prostitute, garbage, stupid, fool, ugly, not intelligent. And in my adulthood, I was called adulterous, attention seeking, power hunger and many more. I find it hard to have so much stamps over yourself and however you want yourself to change, to others it won’t matter. Bullies and degrading treatment are not over by childhood years, the worst bullies are adults. But I take this a challenging times. And I encourage others who goes the same thing to be strong and never give up.

How shall I divert the thoughts of disappointment and the feelings of dismay into the position of positivity? I asked for help in times of insanity and frustration as I turned myself towards those I looked up to..the “church people” and yet time and again the answer was ” we will pray for you”. There was no offer of getting me out of the clouds that wrapped me up in a rollercoaster ride. In the end, that’s when I realised, it’s the psychologists job to do. Which in fact a church elder shall have as a position to help a person depressed. Or suicidal.

And I turned towards people that I trusted, I waited for a hand to raise me up yet the answer I received was stunning. I became the traitor and a liar.

I realised that all of us are quick on judgements upon others situation. Sometimes even if it is dear to us, we usually push them away whenever we see them do wrong, sometimes we don’t have a good manner on how to guide a lost person into the right path. We mostly make a quick decision when we hear things about others, forgetting that once we were in that position and we were in need of help. Now when we had the power to guide others, we mostly think it’s right to instruct the rules and apply it upon them rather than show them how they shall do and take their hand and take them out of the ditch. Generally, people usually push another person deeper into the ditch rather than take them out. We forget to weigh judgements. And we work as prosecutors over others. Isn’t it irony, we hear it preached on the pulpit, spoken on the lectures, and written on literatures that we shall have patience and understanding towards others, that we shall be open in our hearings to execute right judgements, and yet we mostly do the reverse. And depression is such a horrible place to be caused by different situations that has never been cleared out in a person’s life. Either physical abuse, emotional or verbal.

Being alone in the fight, I had to struggle by myself. And to divert the connections about a certain person to a certain event to certain emotion, I have to learn to give up the contact and accept the fact that the event already occurred and cannot be replayed again. I had to learn the process in daily life by forgiving and releasing myself from the connection with the people that hurt me and. I had to learn to forgive myself about certain events that connect to the painful memories that causes a strong emotional distress and a repetition of flashbacks that delays my healing process. I had to renew my mind by giving up on seeing myself as a victim because nothing happens for a reason and it does not happen because I deserved it, rather things happens because we all are humans who fails to do the right thing and we mostly fulfil the lusts of our bodies in different forms like embarrassing others, killing, gossip, abuse and others.

I learned this year’s that it does not matter what others says about me. Because I live the life I walk and I do my best to make things right. I don’t need to reaffirm myself whenever others remind me of my past, because I know that their purpose of reminding is to make me return to that certain event that would make me feel anxious which will cause me undefensive and frustrated. I am certain that people that surrounds us who knew us from the past can never be ignored but I also know that although they had been your friends, you shall never give them a key to hurt you or use your emotions to beat you.

The past had been done, and if by some reasons you have done wrong and committed mistakes, who else did not? And if by some situations you had committed huge failures, who else did not? This is the tragic of life and I or we have to accept that the past belongs there and that we don’t need to reaffirm ourselves from certain people, events or emotions that was attached to it. Learn to forgive and Let go. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, to forgive is to set yourself free from the certain events and people that causes your emotions to be distorted. It is giving you a passage to make change because of the event and making you strong enough to face a better future. Claim your joy by renewing your mind through new thoughts everyday. It might be hard in the beginning but once you train yourself to imagine your good future, you will be able to control your body and emotions to affirm about what’s ahead of you. And you will see that the past indeed will stay behind and it will never have power over you anymore.

Believe without seeing and have hope in believing.

Always be thankful before sleeping and even when you wake up. Look forward not backwards.