The day of Birth

The day of Birth

It is funny to be greeted by friends “Happy Birthday” remembering only the day I was born by the date and year and time. I myself consume my mind on remembering the day my mother had the hours of difficulty. The time where she had the labour just to bring me out of the womb.

Of course I am thankful and grateful of all the greetings.. I judt have to pay attention that the day I was born.. It was my mother who gave birth to me. =birth day.. 😂😂

It must be painful for her at that time to struggle thinking just to survive the birthing of a small little child. And that moment, she must have forgotten all the worries she carry out day by day.

I wish people would remember her more than I. I wish people would think of her again as every year passes by how she had survived those very first moments just to give me the chance to live and experience life.

I was a history of abortion. In the middle of my mother’s pregnancy she probably had stopped doing what she planned to do do against the life inside her womb. I was born with a left blind eye. I experienced the bullies and humiliating events from people who did not know the story of my appearance. I experienced a difficult childhood. From her hands, i know how to feel the pain and the violence of every mistakes that I have made. I shed the tears by hearing how unlucky she was because of me. Through my teenage years, I kept the pain as if they were a part of me. It wasnt easy. All the scars would speak of the memories that I kept in silence. Yet I am happy she was still mother.

Those years have made me realise how fragile she was because it was the only right thing she knew to raise me. It was the memories of her upbringing that she thought was right to transmit and apply as a guideline to discipline. At times I honestly shed my tears with anger. I had resentment and I blew all the blame on her. I misunderstood her and even myself. But now, I reached the stage of wisdom through the years.

I became 33. And I am so thankful for all the things that happened.

Today is the day when my mother took me out of the world.. then I see… Half….
Today was the day when God decided then how I would look like, how I would see the world, how my heart would beat and how my life would be formed through the journey..
Today was the day when God set the people before me, to meet, to keep, to love, to loose, to hold and to cherish..
Today is not about party, not about cake or fancy gifts. Its about saying

THANK YOU GOD I SURVIVED ANOTHER YEAR WITH THIS CRUCIAL LIFE..!! THANK YOU GOD YOU’VE MOLDED ME DAILY BY TEACHING ME THINGS IN LIFE. FOR KEEPING YOUR HANDS AT HOLD EVEN WHEN I’M OUT SIGHT, FOR KEEPING ME SAFE EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW I AM A HARD HEADED CHILD..

To the One Above.. Im grateful living this life… 😌

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Envy, you’ve been chasing Humanity!

Envy, you’ve been chasing Humanity!

I have also learned why people work so hard to succeed: it is because they envy the things their neighbors have. But it is useless. It is like chasing the wind. – King Solomon

People would envy others in their prosperity and so much that some would even parade themselves better than anyone. In their lives they work hard, they strive hard not because they love what they do. They work hard, strive hard because they want to impress people they don’t like. Show off to people they hated and brag to people that looked down on them..they suffer to become something but nit enjoying its result. Because from the beginning, the motivation they say to themselves was : “I WILL SHOW THEM WHAT I WILL BECOME, And I will prove myself to them” and after all is done, all comes to nothing, all becomes ashes after one. All the things they envied and worked hard to get meant nothing after all, because the heart was not in it and only the motivation of impression was there. And all the things became meaningless because there was no satisfaction and enjoyment in what they have achieved.

In all the achievement they get, the more sorrowful and depressed they become. For they have not seen the meaning of life and the joy in doing things with a merry heart. Their successive days were spent in agony of chasing after others attention

They chase success not for their heirs, but for their enemies whom which do not care. And their heirs would receive their part without care for it was not built for them.

Spare yourselves from this attitude and get rid of your own pride.

I would like to give you a simple piece of word. To first forgive those who harmed you and ask forgiveness to those you’ve harmed. Then seek a good thing that you want to do and put all your heart in it. Do it for your sake and for your beloved ones. You dont need to impress yourself to others and you dont need to show off that you are getting better. You dont need to be confirmed that you are doing the best. But do all your best to satisfy yourself and create a good integrity among your family and surrounding. You can do things with all your hope and belief without others watching you. But let all be done with a merry heart in the sight of God. Get rid of envy, for it is like a cancer to mind. The more succeed you become, the more gentle and giving you shall be. The more known and infuencial you are, the more open and down to earth you shall be. Dont assume you know it all. For remember, all will be ashes in time amd your hardwork will meant nothing. Dont spend your life in envy and bitterness.

Be Godly and decent. .
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Giver and the Taker….Which are YOU?

Giver and the Taker….Which are YOU?

It has been a while I wrote. Like mostly bloggers writing about themselves or things that are trendy, I find myself off the trend and fashion. And it is good. I do not write to please readers or to attract viewers but merely to share my thoughts to those who can find it beneficial. Thoughts not just about myself, If I could, I’d like to focus more on others and make myself a background. Not to feel pity for me, but to simply announce that other people are also equally valued as I am. Nothing Special.

 

I had been married for soon to be 4 years now. Well, I had been married before and this is my second chance. I could see the differences between my past and my new experiences. In the old, I wasnt yet a true follower of Jesus so my life’s perspective and my life’s view was different. As an ordinary woman, I used to see that I have to get benefits, or simply that I also wanted to be loved and I also deserve happiness. Not that I am too selfish or so, but it was the mindset that I have learned all these years because of the pain that I went through.

Now, in present life I have. Since I became A born again. A disciple of Jesus. I have learned to serve God by becoming a servant to my husband, my children and my whole house. Being a virtues woman is not easy. The power of being a wife at home is extremely huge. By a womans hand, you can build your home ( a woman is even called blessed by her husband) and by a womans hand she can destroy it ( a foolish woman destroys it with her own hands) That proverb is correct and very observable by the King Solomon. I would say, that as I have thought of my home now. How peaceful it has been, when the husband and wife are in harmony together. When both individual never speak evil against each other, the blessings of peace resides at home. There is no stress and even the children could live in peace and function in their environment. It is very evident that a godly woman brings a good ambience at home. Although there may arise different situations that are sometimes difficult to handle, stil the marriage is intact because the communication is open. And Godly mindset resides in their hearts as foundation of the home.

I never believe in give and take. Why?  Because I cant find them in the instructions of the Scriptures.  I suppose a relationship, wether by marriage, friendship or a relation between parent and child should be give and receive. (which is more relevant and instructional for all)

Give and Take sounds so selfish to me. It is a one-way street. Either you always give and the other just take or you are the taker and the other is the giver. Isnt it that sound so familiar to stealing. The giver though expects something but the taker just take what they want, does not expect or does not respect but leaves after they got what they want. The Torah(instructions) had never mention that we shall be giver for the taker but we were instructed clearly to give according to our blessings and with whole heart – Deuteronomy 16:17. Therefore in all kinds of relationship, I realised even to mine that the moment I stopped giving to the taker, I learned not to feed the lust and hunger of the taker. For the taker witholds good from me and in his heart keep his peace because I give something that satisfies him and in my turn, I had also this kind of desires. In the past I see a large mistake that made me wise now.

Give and Receive is essencial for me, I give because I dont expect at all. I give in devotion that every effort I do is for the eyes of the Lord to be pleased with me. Not that I give to be known by many but to the fact that I do not desire to be seen. ANd so in my marriage, I see how it build trust between me and my husband. In his weakness, I give him strength and in my misunderstanding he teaches me patiently. In that essence we give and receive freely. We serve one another at home without grudge but lovingly devoting ourselves to one another in humbleness and gentleness. Although some shortcomings are strongly visual, I tend not to ignore them but in patience sow tears in prayers. (Psalm 126:5-6 ESV 
Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.) God sees my shortcomings and therefore I do not have the right to point out my husbands mistake but to lead him and learn him what is right for Love does not remember any wrong right? In tenderness of character, we can build a strong bond. It is to remember that we all are imperfect in our physical actions sometimes but spiritually we all are perfect.

As I look back onto my past and see how I am doing now. My reflections in marriage is very very different.
For example, it is well-known to all housewives that once you get married, your time is consumed in cleaning the house, washing dishes, washing clothes, sitting down with the kids, maybe taking out the dogs or petting, plus a whole day work…. and at the end of the day your strength is consumed and it creates discomfort to the house because you become stresssed and alittle bit grumpy. Now your behaviour changes, it is either your husband would understand or he might gonna hit you back with words that would definitely harm you. Now not all husband are like this, but I would say there are men and women who are extreme in laziness. So some solutions of others are……
DIVORCE… becase the reason was ” I only give and he/she dont give me something back”

I dont want to complain though, at home… My husband maybe does not clean as well as I do but I am pleased and happy when he cleans. Because however he have done it, he tried his best and he did it with all his heart. I kept complaining how he cant wash the clothes separately, but now I realised when he wash the clothes I have to be thankful because I received a good help. Less stress and I can run around the house till I get tired hahaha!! (that’s another hobby I do at home) Being a wife or husband is not an easy task. But keep in mind that the moment you saw each other is the first otive that made you tied together. SO, do not suffer one another but bear for each other and speak about things openly in a communication. Do not yell at each other. (someone told me that once a couple yell at each other, their hearts become strangers to each other and they are starting to be blind to see each other.)
Open communication means acceptance of mistakes and finding a solution to make it better next time. Being able to sleep afterwards in same bed in peace and knowing that you love each other and you will always be giving each other the compliments and care. Receiving together compassion for another for God is the same to us. He gives us blessings, unending fortunes of life and yet once we became a taker.. Now, let us also be a giver with all our heart and mind and soul. And we will receive the wisdom and crowns of life…