What Matters the Most

I have thoughts about how others would respond when I do things that are inappropriate for them. I used to adjust myself on others opinions. Sometimes it works, sometimes it fails. But in the end, I have to pursue what I think is good even if I am uncomfortable with it. – Rochelle

There have been many issues is my life that I thought I couldn’t survive, some of the event had left a trace in my heart and bad thoughts in my memories. I can’t even imagine how I made it through or how I found the strength to put my feet back on track. There were times when I failed, people had judged me according to their measurements. It was easy for others to speak so much about how a person would get by life’s struggle but were not available to give a helping hand. It was easy to put themselves into the seat of a judge without balancing their judgement. It was corrupt. And it had left me flashes of pain.

I lived in an undesirable environment with people that has to tell me how to do things rathan teach me how to walk it. I lived with the thoughts “what they say matters in here”. But as life goes on, the four walls of my closed doors speaks the truth of who I am. It screams the need of change and the unstability reveals the weakness – a need of a true guidance.., -without self-deceit from others. The walls were the witness of myself, Incomplete, broken and easily swayed away. Was it because I thought I couldn’t do any thing at all? Or was it because I thought that they are the only right that I knew of? Either way, what they had said and what they told me… Did not Matter in the end-

I have noticed that nothing of these things matters because behind closed doors, I was alone when I cried and hit my heart many times because the pain consumed me. I was alone when I fought and God was my hiding place and strength to move on. It was not the religious affirmations that contributed to my well-being. Only the study of Torah!

Whatever they spoke and said, did not contribute a spot of strength but a huge of fear and incomplexity in me. Every step I took made me feel afraid of what others have to say, Every thing that I speak must adjust on what others feel. Not that I have to be disrespectful, but mostly I wanted to speak things as they are – without any hidden information. But that is also unacceptable to others.

Over the years, I struggled alone with the fight inside. I heard different opinions from each side and those words made me feel worried and worse. Thats when depression comes, you loose the interest and there is no sense of value in life. People would think I am strange because I sometimes have the feeling to wanting have friends but actually not wanting so much contact, wanting to meet people but not liking too much socializing. We are unaware sometimes that as we speak, our words can contribute either to build up or to destroy others – spiritually.. But as for me, I have learned to navigate myself through different circumstances. I have learned where to lay my eyes on and where to focus my ears and where to walk my feet. And it is amazing to find your strength not by physical upbeat but in your soul.

I tried to find self-esteem in fitness, in sports, in all kinds of creativity and practice to find peace. Instead of stillness, it gaved me the feeling that I need affirmation to know that I do my best. It was actually like using your hurt to get up – which will make you weary from the inside.

I found out that Peace cannot be achieved by self modification but with a motivation to forgive others without any hesitation no matter what or how they caused pain and damage to you. There is a willingness from the inside to create a harmony of stillness in the mind not needing any affirmation through physical activities. I do not say that Physical creativity is not useful – it is! The thing is that, it cannot contribute to peace if it is only a cover-up to build self-esteem. Most of the Mind problems cannot be solved from the outer core of our bodies – merely a full restoration from the inside. True peace is like, you will not need any affirmation from many people to talk around you on what and how to do. It is a built-in confidence you know? If you lost that, Maybe it is enough with few trustworthy friends to have a conversation regarding your weakness and strength. And from that point, it is up to you wether you will use your strength to invest in time forgiving others and a sense of acceptance on what had happened in your life. Just take time, You know things don’t change in a day. So One special thing to remember is, BE PATIENT! BE HOPEFUL AND HAVE FAITH! LEARN TO WAIT, And WORK UNDERPRESSURE!

The most interesting part for me is, I have been involved in many different beliefs and religious activities, yet none of them can fill the emptiness I had inside. So I stopped being religiously connected or I mean, I stopped being a church attendant (not that I forbid others to do so but if you want peace, you should know yourself first before interacting with so many people). I took my faith as a life. I lived it everyday. I joined people whom are studying the faith, searching for possibilities to change their course of life to become better and contribute to become a law-abiding citizen. It was actually different to read at home, meeting people with same faith, having a deep conversation about spirituality. Deep in the conversations and readings, I found that King Solomon has a lot of counsel towards people who have never yet found their understanding of life. A book to consider about growing in faith, wisdom and navigation to life pointing towards God.

I stopped listening to people whom are filled with envy and filled with so much talk about others. I stopped spending time with people who do not have any motivation of change at all. I stopped making friends with people whom are time consumers instead, I gained friends whom are filled with creativity, Faith involvement and Life changing stories. People whom are trying their best to become a better person each day. Making a good influence on others. One thing I did not stop is –— SMILING, being HAPPY and Adventourous in life..
After all! The Journey continues!

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Being a Victim

Being a Victim

We mostly get tired of people whom are victims of abuse. And in our terms, our wish is that they would be set free. We do our best to take them out if it. Yet often we see then returning.

Of course we get distracted and disappointed because we dont understand what is happening in their minds. We think sometimes that our efforts were neglected and that our relationship with them somehow starts to be out of hand. Until the day, we want to give up forgetting that once we had the days when we also were victims.

We must understand it is a difficult situation for that person and it is a personal attachment. The only thing u can do is to allow the person see the wrong thing in the event. Although you have given your advice it is still very difficult for the person to be influenced by your thoughts because the person itself face the fear and has very low self esteem. You must remember that the abuser had stolen their identity and trampled their lives. In that manner the abuser was using its power to make use of the victims positive mind from the beginning. I believe that the abuser itself is a broken soul and it feeds to break another to feel a little better. To damp the brokenness inside. we must never forget to understand those who are in weak situations and we shall not look down on them i was once a victim and it took me so long before i got out if it. I was looked down by people who think that i get returning back to the abuser but the thing is, i wasn’t strong enough because the people that tried to pull me out of it are the ones who speaks about mistakes. Points out how i shall be and how i should think. It created confusion in me because I didnt know what to think for myself and the hopelessness grew… One day there was a person who found my strength by suggesting ne solutions and that friend never imposed aby ideas but stayed with me and told me. “You are strong enough” “do you think this things happening to you arecorrect?” “i will always listen to you sentiments until you get free from it because I am hoping you soon be free”
These were always her words whenever she got tired of my repetitive conversation. Until the day i stood for victory.

The idea of hurting others indeed comes from the inner source of the soul in hebrew called ‘jetser hara’ – long for evil. It is in the inner part of the soul connecting from the sinful nature of man. Yet the idea of doing good is the longing for good – jetser ha tov in hebrew.
These has been implanted in our soul therefore many of us either become aware of being abused or not aware of abusive behaviour.

Each of us.. No one can deny that even though we are born again has sometimes the attitude of abuse. Which in term of Paul, we can always discipline ourselves to not obey the jetser hara.

Please have kindness at heart and an understanding attitude towards the person you are facibg difficulties. We might not know what we say might lift then up or might bring them down. โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜ I speak according to my experience.
Yeshua always look upon the broken hearted and has a contrite spirit. A broken soul is the one who needs guidance and has a restless mind. A contrite spirit has the sleepless thoughts and worries, an anxiety of the heart caused by other people who are abusing them and using them for their own benefits.

Yeshua had cared for these people and showed meekness and kindness to them. He was not exempted even to the humiliating events that we also experience in life. That is why He said,

I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty
John 6:35

Take it as an example.
Until then if the person want to stay where they are.. Then thats their matter.. We cant do nothing.. But to respect the decision.

WHO is ABLE?!

WHO is ABLE?!

Who can wear your shoes and understand it?
Who can listen to your story and tell it?
Who can wear your shoes and dare to judge you?
Who can able to hear you cry and dare to wipe your tears
Who can understand you and patiently lead you in life?
Who can teach you a lesson without killing you inside?
Who can speak with you without intimidation
Who can allow you to grow without setting a hindrance?
Who can stand for your integrity without partiality
Who can give you strength in weakness
Who can love you without hidden mask
Who can show you wonderful things without a pay
Who would help you without blowing a trumpet

O yes, when we look at mankind, our own image and alike!
No one would dare to take a stand
And yet promises are spoken to become a helping hand
The sudden times expose that there’s no one
And at your failures you face the test
So many measures at your mistakes
And at your weakness you have no friends
One by one they see you as a pest
Maybe God had punished her in the end
All the empty words fly like withered leaves
Yet the wind carries the whispers through the chills
And the lips will never stop hurting
As the eyes will never stop judging
Still in the image of divinity there’s a propaganda
You will know WHO you shall turn yourself into.

And Who is like God? Who is like Hashem?
The One Who loves with pure intentions
The One who sees your purpose
The One whom you can depend on
The One who wont desert you
The One who understands
The One who forgives
The One who knows your limitations
The One who nurtures your growth
The One who restores you
The One who leads you into The right way
The One who teaches you in your misconceptions
The One who heals you in brokenness
The One who fills you in Hopelessness
The One who assures you have a friend
The One who opens the gates in your return
The One who gives peace under the storm
The One who feeds in hunger
The One who pours water in thirst
The One who shows wonders and signs
The One who helps with a mighty hand
The One who redeem a lost heart
The One who sends a saviour to never get lost
The One who will always be the FOREVER LIVING GOD

Writer: Karla Rochelle Darang Rosenberg
Emal: oselrimon@gmail.com

Stamps by Word

Stamps by Word

The written scriptures: 1 John 3:10

By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother.

I have had tough times for now. I notice that my divorce is such a curse to go through. And after divorce, if you mistakenly have a relationship you will also be called an adulterous person, because there are probation in every settlement in system to wait.

By the way, I have been called a devils child somewhere in a recorded video from a known evangelist. Somehow they know my personal life but it seemed very intentional to speak about me in social media. It is very hurtful comments although I can understand their side still people have no rights to say those words.

In citation of revelations 2 about a woman who proclaim herself as prophetess whom committed adultery, the verses brought curse even to her children. And this citation is used against me. I wonder how many woman who have been into this kind of situation and I can imagine that it is very mentally and physically breaking.

I don’t know if people realise how they draw away others from faith rather than bringing in. Isn’t it right to divorce from a relationship who has no more interest and there’s no affection in between. Isn’t it very time consuming to think that each person in marriage does not give effort to make the relationship work?

Is it right to stay when your partner says ” life is over and there’s nothing joyful to have in life to wait” while you would watch him cry on the balcony and regret every moment of life. Isn’t it abusing to the mind to see a partner gets busy at work and then you beg for time just to make it work. Isn’t that physically breaking to beg your partner to even fulfil the intimate task which is only done because of pressure?

Then tell me I’m still the devils child and tell me I’m going to hell.

A selection of salvation is not according to your righteousness. It is given to make you righteous. A person saved cannot be measured by the mistakes they have done and it is not our right to bring them down but to bring them to repentance. And who knows the heart of a man but God? And who knows who will go down and goes up?

Marriage – is Honorable among all!

When marriage is in shaken,ย  walking away is not the answer.
Calm down and speak with each other. Don’t call for emergency numbers and talk around.
Walking away is for people who are not capable of going to the next step of their lives.
Marriage is Honorable, and the bed undefiled. This means that when the shake is on the run, don’t think it’s over. Don’t take your shoe and don’t pack your bags and leave. Don’t call your peeps and say ” hey man! My husbands leaving me, or my wife’s leaving and I don’t know why, bla bla bla” who cares?? They don’t know you both much than you know each other well. You live together and not with them.
Don’t exchange the years together and end it into a one day leave. Marriage is not like movies, it is hard work and it is handling the motions day by day. Overcoming the waves by walking upon the water and trusting God and His love endures forever.

Sometimes, misunderstanding are huge and there are people around that really waits for both to split up. Because that’s how they handle responsibility. And if you agree with what they sketch you, you will be drawn to be like them. Broken and immature. Do not be conformed by this world. Because the world tells you that if you’re unhappy, you got to leave! The world tells you that if you are not satisfied then find another one! If your expectations are not met then divorce. That’s sucks and stupid! That’s the world! That’s not you! You are not of this world! You are a child of God!
If you are in an abusive relationship! I advise you to leave! If your husband or wife is irresponsible, bring him to authorities, if he does not comply with the law then you have to decide whether you leave or stay!
People who are not willing to handle responsibility are the ones who thinks walking away is the answer. PLEASE Stop! That’s foolishness!
Stay calm, and begin from the beginning. Learn to humble yourselves and submit to one another. Hear the case of one another, place your complaints about each other. And when all had been revealed,ย  forget the problem and the records of wrongs. If you ask forgiveness, it is humbleness. if you get down in your knees and seek to serve your partner, it is not self-seeking.when you take your partner and move the change with him or her, it is kindness. If you set your heart to forgive even when there’s no harm done, it is love.
Speak good for one another and remember the love you had from the beginning! Start from there! ” I love you and I want to marry you”
Words sometimes are not needed but a big embrace and touch and affection and compassion is what needed!

Learn to spend time and listen to each others heart. And I’m not talking about abuse here. I’m talking about marriages that sometimes have been affected by environmental views.
Remember the words of wisdom!
Wisdom that comes from God and not from the world.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.ย  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Remember, when you stayed and reached until gray hairs! You will not regret you made a good husband and wife!
Everybody goes this trials you know!
And few succeed!
It’s not because we live in the millennium and it was different before, but it’s because through the years, people become more and more self centered that’s why they fall!