Posted on November 7, 2020
I have drawn most of my life since childhood. I have tried different ways to develop myself within this area. And art has been my way of expression to manage my PTSD.
This week was more challenging than all of the paintings that I ever did. This one felt like death and life for my career as an art tutor.. (lol im kind of exaggerating but thats the feeling)
Recently, I was challenged to draw Walid Feghali. I have been following him for two years now and I never missed his videos and emails ever since. lol… and I have developed alot from his concepts and it had grafted into most of my painting ideas. As I drew his portrait with my pencil, the fear arose in me and I felt so scared regarding the comments I would receive from him. Since it is his portrait, I became anxious and I left the sketched portrait about a week. Watching at it everyday, I almost wanted to throw it because the fear is crucial. And since the plan was just to sketch, I ended up with the idea to paint him in acrylics. And not just that. I even came up with the new ideas that I will try a new technique in using my brush strokes as I paint his portrait…And add the background..which I never ever ever did in my entire painting skills. The subject was always drawn or painted but never involved myself into the background. So help me God!
For those of you who do not know Walid Feghali, he is an award winning composer, conceptual and illustrator artist. He had been very popular within the filming industry and had contributed orchestral film scores for Warcraft, Call of Duty and Starcraft 2… etc…
You may understand why I felt so anxious and scared. Very scared that I almost wanted to throw away the paper where I drawn him.
Despite the fact that I have an autodidact learning and a childhood background of drawing… I am still open to learn more and probably studying until I get old. For the past 10 years I went through art courses to study about values fine arts and photography and also to add more knowledge about my photography skills. But this one that I did today scares me. I swear….
After a week or so… I got tired looking at the portrait and I decided to face my fear and I was reminded of the emails I receive from his chain emails (Evenant). He wrote: “never compare yourself to others and try to improve yourself until you find your techniques and composition”
I was kind of relieved for a moment and just grabbed my brush and painted without even thinking of my fear or worries…
As my brush went through the compositions and layouts of the lines and colours, I noticed that I became more engaged in what I am doing. I am more focused and as much as possible I tried to be much more observant and moooorreee meticulous about the small detail I see. Since I wanted to try the new brush strokes, I was actually surprised that I can do much better than what I expected. And I am so happy to overcome the fear for now. But I am still having some feeling of worries what his comment will be about his portrait… uugghh… Anyways.. after this.. I will send him the portrait and I hope I wont fade away in my own mind…coz I am his fan…not the number one but AVID FAN!!!!!
The painting finished after 5 hours. Thank God. Then, it was time to watch it and
Posted on September 3, 2020
#5KChallengeAccepted #5Kcomments #100SHARES I was a Rape Victim. And I dont condone, I dont tolerate Offenders. #Sweden, there should be a valid LEGAL PUNISHMENT regarding rape cases and should not be bailable.
I have lived in Sweden for 13 years now. It had been 13 years since I left my home town and settled myself here to have a family. Unfortunately, I had misfortunes in my past relationships that involved mental and torment in mind and body. Sweden had given me a lot of good learning. It was interesting that I found myself more understanding about my experience and learned to navgate the truth despite of the circumstances. It was a huge improvement when it comes to my faith. I have learned to differentiate religion from personal growth in faith. I am thankful of the development that it had given me these past years. I became strong, independent woman. But above all these, I could not escape the fact that rape was also one of the weakest talk in here. their arm is very undecisive.
Rape has Affected me: Physically, Mentally and Emotionally and even my social life had become absurd when I suffered those emotions. I wasn’t defended rightly, I wasn’t comforted instead I was blamed. Some church community had exploited my experience and used it as a reason to stamp me by saying I am demonised and cursed and that due to rape, I might have like playing within relationships. And because most of my relationship failed, I might be the problem. And I believe that there are other people who suffered the same., might have experienced a different scenario from their surroundings. They might have hid themselves in their sleeves just to get rid of the societies victim blaming. I have overcome the emotions that I suffered for many years, and because of that I was diagnosed with PTSD.
The society had made fun of me due to my experience. I have heard blame from different people and I have experienced humiliation. I tried to conform from the world of religious leaders but their reactions were far more degrading to the extent that I was called demonised and cursed. Their role supposed to be the uplifter of the broken soul. Yet to make it clear, some of them does not have the empathy and understanding of what does rape is all about. Well, I have overcomed that too. Now lets talk about the society..
Since I discovered the world of interenet, In social media, you will find it in several comments and captions and they create memes about rape. Some youtube vloggers uses it as a prank, They make fun of rape and violence.. And despite the truth that there are regulations in every platform to report such kind of behaviour, The society itself watches it and shares it further rather than reporting it. isn’t this sad? The society that knows better are the ones that promotes the violence by likes and shares of every video that contains suffering of sexual offence.
The ten countries with the highest rates of rape (number of incidents per 100,000 citizens) are:
- South Africa (132.4)
- Botswana (92.9)
- Lesotho (82.7)
- Swaziland (77.5)
- Bermuda (67.3)
- Sweden (63.5)
- Suriname (45.2)
- Costa Rica (36.7)
- Nicaragua (31.6)
- Grenada (30.6)
The government had not made a strong decision or law to protect the women’s and children’s right.
In Sweden, rape punishment is two-six years imprisonment. Aggravated rape is lowest five years and maximum of ten years imrpisonment. Rape against children with a relative perpetrator is lowest four and maximum ten years imprisonment.
I should have wanted to expect that the government must protect the women not just by counselling, medical treatment, but by strengthening the law against the perpetrator and make the imprisonment forever that the perpetrator would suffer the same inside the prison. Isn’t it justice should be served accordingly? But hey, sweden seemed to be coward to bring this kind of strong decision. Their law is stronger when it comes to money: TAX CRIME. Once a person committed a tax crime, the court proceedings are fast.
The government ALL OVER THE WORLD should recognise the pain and suffering both mental and physical and emotional of boys and girls that suffered sexual abuse, molestation, and violence that are often made by relatives, friends, and unknown people. Paedophilia is also one of the most important to remember that has different forms of abuse and manipulation. The person that suffered such event takes a day to day basis to deal with emotionally. It is a hearthbreaking situations that the person must go through everyday due the the flashbacks, sleepless nights, self pity and lost of identity and eventually the lost of social life interest.
IF WE as a community, make use of the social platform to trigger the governments to ensure the safety of every single person that suffered such event to HAVE THE JUSTICE. I believe that HUMAN RIGHTS would be served CORRECTLY. in this type of world, mostly the victims are blamed for what they have suffered. And Mostly the Offenders are free in the society because THE HUMAN RIGHT DEFENCE is that They shall have the freedom to atleast have their rights. Whereas the victims suffered for One or Two, or maybe Five decades just to be whole again..Physically, Mentally and emotionally.
I want to challenge each and everyone of you to share this message out of your concern. No matter what kind of opinions you have. If you are a mother, a sister, a brother or just an ordinary citizen. I encourage you to #standwithusagainstrape
Source Rate of rape Worldly: source:
sources from The Swedish Criminal Code Chapter 6
Source from The Swedish Police
so thats it!
Over and out