I am upset at myself, I’m angry at the world, and I’m not on speaking terms with G‑d for a while.
Then they line up, the friends who want to cheer me up, the spiritual leaders who know better: You know what my friend… No need to be upset… No need to be depressed… Everything happens for A reason!!!
The first thought that crosses my mind is, Where is your compassion? Where is your sympathy? Do you think I need to hear that I’m suffering for a reason? I’m Suffering! Is that suppose to happen for a reason?
The second thought that jumps up my brain is: Oh, yeah. Obviously everything happens for a reason. The reason I got into multiple sexual abuse from relatives and it made me become afraid to trust people. The reason I became a rape victim that made me having issues with relationships, that caused me to feel distressed and afraid of society. The reason it ruins my daily life. The reason I got into a violent marriage that brought me depressive episodes and anxieties. The reason I got divorce twice and caused me to feel miserable. And still I would hear.. Everything happens for a reason. How does friends and spiritual leaders console me by their words.
They say, things happen for a reason. And that things that happens we deserve. I refute this words because they are too extreme for me to believe.
I believe that God has plans and purpose for everyone and I understand His thoughts in the beginning of creation. That every creature both great and small, from the ones that walks to the smallest that creep has its very assigned purpose to complete each other fulfilling its task to become a lively event in daily occasion. And that every living creature has its fulfilling purpose upon the earth.
Whoever has faith in individual Divine Providence knows that “Man’s steps are established by G‑d,” that this particular soul must purify and improve something specific in a particular place. For centuries, or even since the world’s creation, that which needs purification or improvement waits for this soul to come and purify or improve it. The soul too, has been waiting – ever since it came into being – for its time to descend, so that it can discharge the tasks of purification and improvement assigned to it. Hayom Yom – 3 Elul
Now we are talking business. Everything happens for thereason, not just A reason. And the reason is G‑d’s master plan for his universe
When I look back upon the things I went through in life, it is easy to see the negative things and think that I deserved the hurt and pain. And according to others opinion, it is happening for a reason. But when I looked at what I became after that, I realised that it was needed for me to go through so I may learn. And under the process I had the choice to either do not care or to just be afraid or either defend myself. I refute that it is not the purpose of my life, neither God had planned my life course to be in that manner. I believe that this things happened had came across without a warning because there is a desire in every individual, it can be for good or for evil.
Unfortunately, some of the unhappy things that happened to me was the result of my fear to fight and defend myself. Which I believe was not happening for a reason.
There is a case that makes me think just that sentence. When I faced a violent tragedy many years ago, I was devastated and confused about my lifes purpose. I heard someone said to me, “everything happened for a reason” and it strucked me. Because they did not knew I was a rape victim. And they did not knew I was abused as a child, and they did not knew that I was also abused as a wife. And telling me everything happened for a reason makes me think, that reason must be absurd and out of mind concept..
Everything does not happened for a reason. Things has purpose but it was not purpose for evil but for good.
We have the power to experience people, places and things in a G‑dly way, thus changing their composition from merely physical to a new spiritual dimension. The only reason weird things happen to us, is because we are challenged to elevate that situation from the annoying (to humans) to the pleasurable (to G‑d).
In other words “Everything happens for a reason” are not words of consolation, but a call to action..