I randomly looked at my old photographs, from places to nations I have visited. Watching the memories together with the people involved in those times. And I realised, time goes so fast and it had been too fast for me. And indeed as the word says, There is time for everything.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; Ecclesiastes 3
Watching the memories of old, it reminds me so much of all the questions that I have asked. The days where my innocence was greater than me. Questions Of all the why’s and what if’s that I have laid before my eyes. Watching above the sky waiting for reply, and then years passed by. I was left with all the questions unanswered and the years had spoken to me freely. I lived life like everyone eles. Without noticing the clear answers to my questions, I was too busy to face life. I was too focused on the things that I supposed to avoid…. negativity and fear to fail.
Those photos had reminded me how fragile I was in all the things I never knew and how prideful I had become from the achievements I gained through the years. With thoughts that I knew so much, which honestly had made me speechless this day. Thinking, how foolish of me to think like that? And I had created so much worries and felt like threathened when my very personal views where under attack. But now I have realised that my competitors are not human, for they as I am, fades away in time and seasons. And I found out that I compete with the time.
For it was not long ago when I was 8 years old and full of wishes and dreams. Where the flowers had crowned me in the meadows and the sky would rejoice in me. And the years gone by I turned 15 and the questions arised and grew more powerfully with many branches of what if’s. One by one, they were answered by trials and suffering, by good memories and happiness. Day by day, people were brought into my life. And the hours spoke a lot about the chasing of the moments. I have met Those people who have left good traces and even left tears and hurtful memories. And all was time tabled, a setting of which the maker knew I could handle. To which it tested my innermost strength and endurance. And the more I thought I’d fail, the more I became stronger. The more I thought I will be broken, the more I became whole. And time was always in the right hour and day. COunting every minute of my words and watching over my decision, My maker gave the strength sufficient to face the day.
Time, you have been so fast for me. It seemed only yesterday when I was born. When my heart was empty not knowing love and compassion. When my emotions were still under supervision of my parents. When my conscience were still innocent from pain, suffering, dismay and destruction. When my eyes only knew the beautiful things. And time went by, My maker had set me to battle. Towards the unknown, in which only Him knew the hour, the day, and the minute the journey would begin.
Now I have been learning to stand with you. Time, I can say that now I’ve learned to treasure you. And I am more aware of every words I’d speak. I am concerned of every speech my mouth release towards other people who would hear. I am afraid I would speak non-sense but you O Time, had learned me to be patient. To watch for the time and suffer under pressure with patient and disciplined Spirit. I became more compassionate because you Time, had been my voice that repeats and reminds me what I have done so I wont do the same mistake again. And my Maker had been your Lord all this life-time.Although I have made the same mistake, the time stood still so I could remember and learn to observe. You have developed me into a witty woman, you have showed me how to appreciate life in all situations. My Maker indeed have taught me Love without boundaries and Compassion with a merciful heart and righteous judgement. I have learned from you Time, that I should cherish life while I am still here. Despite of the tears that run dry my eyes, you made sure that my Maker would catch every drop in His hands. Reminding me, God holds me in His hands and that Time is precious.
Time, I guess I will have to learn much more from you… Give me more space so I could be a blessing every time of my life. And I know that my Maker holds time and space and is gracious towards all of us. I’ll learn to wait…for the RIGHT TIME!