When I was little, I was bullied. I was told ugly, I was told stupid. Everybody stepped on me and some relatives say I am ugly and looks at me like a garbage to be put aside.
People laughed at me. People made fun of me. Even my mother bullied me.
People measured my appearance and our lifestyle because we were poor. I use to go home filled with anger and hatred against those people. they have left a big scar in my heart and it made me a desolate person. I hated people then, meanwhile I get used of the bullies.
I use to stare at myself in front of the mirror and believes I’m worthless.
Sometimes, I plan suicidal.
I tried… unsuccesfully.
Sometimes, I wanted to kill those who bullied me so I could take vengeance.
Or sometimes I think very suicidal.
But even then God refrained me of doing so.
So I use to ran home, along the way I cried and I believed what people told me. fear and anger was in me. Many people fed me with lies.. My tears flooded in my eyes and the hurt was deep and I thought…
God is far..
But God gathered my pieces. While everyone laughed, God held my hand to stand and be strong. So I seek Him more and found that all I heard and believed about me, were lies.
one by one, things were fading from my heart.
depression left and the darkness had truly set me free.
And God showed me the power of forgiveness even though the hurt was deep.
It took me 24 years before I found true love in God. And successively He showed me what happened to Jesus, as I imagine Him beaten, received spit upon His face, humiliated, embarrassed and sold, finally crucified.
and how much He have done to show that in a manly manner He understood the pain we go through. Jesus was betrayed but in His manner forgave and laid down His life for the ransom of many. even for me.
I forgave the people that put me down. thinking that I myself was also harsh on others. And in provocation I became like them. those who were not careful of what they spoke. and those who meant what words they have told.
I forgave them..So I truly took my heart and laid it down in front of God.. after a few months. it was silence. I could sleep and have peace.
I write this with all honesty from my heart. God is my witness.
I love all sort of people. even those whom were not kind to me. I love them and I Desire salvation over their life. I love them that in my silent prayers, I have them in thoughts.
so I encourage you. do not bully nor put people down because you don’t know how much it will impact their lives.
it is very important that you must have a discipline over your mouth. guard your words.
And think what kind of words you spit out, for your tongue can be deadly as poison. maybe you can be a cause of someone’s death or you might be a reason of someone to be an inspiration.
after all, Jesus is Lord. and your hearts will condemn you for harm you can cause to others and you yourself will be accountable of that in the sight of the Living God!
this is a testimony that JESUS IS LORD over the earth and mankind.. theres a chance to be strobg..if you want to..so Forgive..
do not hide now from yourself. be honest.