Some Thoughts in Stillness

Seasonal Emotions

As the weather change through peak seasons, so are we.. I am an ordinary woman whom is so amazed by the things the world has to offer in creation.. there are many Small details that caught my eyes and left my mind to ponder over things in life… I see many things wonderfully made yet life is so difficult to handle in reality. Phsycologically, I might be living in this troubled world, my environment changes..people I know change through time. And despite of the memories you shared with them, there were promises they left behind the years and even forgotten. Through the season in Sweden, it can be summer, winter, fall and spring , I am still waiting for a moment to feel myself. I use to walk through the pavement with all the thousand thoughts in my head. I sat in a bench in the library many times just staring at the ceiling and could not disinguish the images that I see which my brain could not figure out and sets like hallucinations… I’ve felt speaking with my own with all the wonders i have in my mind.. And then…it turned me on…My innermost self wanted to communicate with me… I’m reminded by my Experiences, my traumas in life which had really affected my well-being nowadays.. I might have not seen it too often coz I was so busy with my chores…as a sister, as a mom, as a student and as a wife and maybe… a woman. But as I sat there in that bench, I’ve felt the stimulation of the memories that brought me the feeling one by one …And it was heart breaking to look at yourself in the mirror..imagining that things have changed…and still the things you have wished for did not yet come to pass… I have the thinking sometimes, what is the purpose? why are we here? And the thoughts bothered me somehow until I got tired of thinking of them. I realised, life is indeed vanity. And we are living to learn and grow in life to fulfill a higher standard which I believe is a life in another world where completion of perfect being is set. Which is in another KINGDOM. Well, Questions are forever… and they always havent been answered even by those most Philosophers.. A list below shows the things I always got in my mind.. this things below, I might have some of the characteristics..some were hard to accomplish while some must have to be strived for.. Things all human want to have is: Happiness, Success, Safety, Success in relationships, Fun, Children, Satisfaction, Loyalty, Honesty, Money, Rank and Power, Glamour, Decency, Compliments, Things all human dont want to have but a MUST DO: Responsibility, Denial, Madness, Poverty, Obligations, I think we all have things we wanted to have but all in all…we just wanted to have fun and actually we dont want to take the responsibility and even the madness of failure.. Now its up to you to figure yourselves out…
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